I'd
like to thank the Academy...
Wait...
what?
OMG...
LOL...
WTF...
Uh
... Sorry, folks. I'm not sure what's going on here... I
have no idea why I'm using text abbreviations. This is not
who I am.
Right.
Well... As the chapter heading notes, this is the author.
I wish
I could explain the justification for this rather odd fourth-wall-intrusion.
But
I can't.
Again,
sorry. This is really embarrassing, but I'm really not sure
what I'm doing here in the story. Or even what this chapter
is supposed to be about.
The
truth is, this book was supposed to be my Magnum Opus. More
than anything else I've written before, it was going to
reveal the deepest part of who I am. And preserve it for
all eternity. My ticket to immortality. Or maybe just one
more hail-mary last-ditch attempt to put myself out there,
so that maybe SHE can finally find me.
Because,
yes, even though I know it's probably too late for my real-life
story to turn around, for some reason, I still have hope
that I'll find my real-life happily ever after.
Right.
And what does that have to do with this story?
I have
no idea.
Last
thing I remember, I was daydreaming a conversation with
Bo, as I unfortunately find myself doing from time to time...
Wait,
that's it... Bo! Bo can get this story back on track.
Right.
Okay.
Again, sorry for the intrustion.
Bo.
Bo?
* * *
Chapter
10b:
"Narrator"'s Note
Oops
... That's my cue.
Bo. Yeah, that would be me.
I know, this is pretty confusing, because the chapter heading
says 'Narrator's Note', and as you know, I'm not the narrator.
(Apparently that's why Narrator is in "air-quotes".) I'm
just the wise-cracking side-kick everyone comes to for emotional
support.
I wish I could say I had nothing to do with the current
situation, but I think, in this case, I'm, well at least
a little bit responsible.
You see, last night George and I must have had a wild party,
or something.
I... Well, the truth is I have no idea what happened, but
I do remember that it was pretty crazy. I woke up with this
goofy smile on my face, half remembering some of the bizarre
adventures we'd just gotten into, but when I opened my eyes,
the last tendrils of memory slipped away. That's when I
noticed I was lying on a pile of shredded paper.
Yeah, you guessed it. Somehow George and I had shredded
the chapter we'd just lived. And judging by the sheer number
of shredded paper strips, it was probably several chapters.
I tried taping them together. Honest. But the resulting
pages made little to no sense. So... Well I panicked and
shredded them again.
Then of course I panicked some more and tried to re-tape
the strips together, but those were even less coherent ...
so, yep ... shredder.
This might have happened a few more times.
And by then the paper strips were little more than paper
dust, and after a sneeze or two, well, let's just say the
chapter was dust in the wind.
At least there wasn't any evidence of my indiscretion left.
Yeah, but hang on. It gets worse.
George and I must have done some drunken midnight internet
shopping, because as I watched the cloud of dust fading
into the sunset, a Prime delivery-drone emerged from the
dust cloud, hovered overhead, and dropped a package onto
my head.
Ouch.
I swear the stupid thing was laughing as it zipped away,
off to its next delivery stop.
I stared down at the box as I rubbed the bump on my head.
Hey, it was addressed to me. So I tore it open and ... whoa
... The latest IRL-headset. No way. I stuck that sucker
on my head, leaned back in my comfy gaming chair, and turned
it on.
I could not believe my luck. Real-Life goggles. Finally
I was going to get to experience "reality".
Huh. Let me tell you, reality is not all it's cracked up
to be.
Living in the mundane seems pretty ... well ... really boring.
Where's the magic? The amazing wonder at being alive?
And the loneliness. Seven billion other living, breathing
humans, and no real, true connection to any of them. No
one saw the real me. Oh, the LONELINESS. Wow. That. is.
The WORST!
Reality Sucks! And yet, despite it all, there is still this
teasing sense of hope.
"Huh,
how do they do it?" I wondered as I ripped the headset off.
Uh, oh. Looks like my reality-venture must have worked some
kind of summoning-spell, because back home in virtual reality,
there He stood, head in hand.
"I
really don't get it, Bo. I really thought I was different
from everyone else. I know it sounds crazy, but I guess
I actually really thought I was born to save the universe..."
I stood there a moment with my mouth hanging open, feeling
ten kinds of guilty. Guilt for shredding the chapters. Guilt
for complaining about my lot in life as a lowly imaginary
side-kick when out in the real world people had to live
mundane lives without magic and wonder and...
"That
I would figure it out," He continued, oblivious to my internal
deliberations. "The reason for it all. And when I did, it
would wake god up and show him how wonderful and amazing
life could be, if only he'd make it so."
"Huh...Messiah-complex
much," I mumbled through the supportive smile plastered
on my face.
Next thing I know, He's lying on a couch. And I'm sitting
in my chair beside him, sporting a Freudian-attitude, chomping
on my cigar while scribbling in my notepad.
"I
really felt like I was on an amazing internal journey. That
even though my life never seemed to be going the way I wanted
it to, that there was a reason and a purpose for everything.
All my life I carried this wonderful dream inside that I
wanted to share. I imagined a heaven-on-earth alternate-reality
that didn't really seem that impossible, until I opened
my mouth. I kept trying, pursuing so many different facets
that reflected the shadows of my precious utopian vision.
I tried so hard, and I manifested so much more than I ever
dreamed I would. With each effort, I thought it would lead
me to the next connection. That each attempt was leading
me closer to something wonderful. To that life where I finally
belonged. Where I'd finally fit in and I'd be doing exactly
what I always wished I would be doing. And sharing it with
someone who really understood the deepest part of me that
was the real me..."
I couldn't help looking at Him in a completely different
light, knowing what I now knew first-hand about living in
the real-world. Okay, time to put my big-boy pants on. Time
to put on my amazing imaginary side-kick wise-cracking-but-enlightening-cap
and show a little comfort and support. "Right. And how'd
that work out, Boss?"
"Not
so good, Bo. I'm old now. And I never really connected to
anyone. Not really. Because no one ever really wanted to
know that inner me who was on that amazing journey. No one
wanted to share her inner journey with me and marry our
journeys together to co-create the life we'd both always
wanted to lead. If only I could have shared the journey.
Maybe truth wouldn't have been so evasive. I really believed
I'd find my soulmate. Someone who really gets me. The real
me. The me I am inside. The me I wish I could be. The me
who has seen the melancholy bliss of eternity, and in sharing
it with her we'd discover truth and see past the peaceful
sadness and begin to really experience the awe and wonder
of existence. And with her by my side, we'd chart a course
with our feet on the ground, our hearts entwined and our
sights focused on utopian dreams as we explored the mysteries
of the universe together. And when we returned from our
journeys, we'd bring back truths that we'd manifest in co-created
works that would inspire countless generations of lost souls
searching for meaning and purpose."
"Whoa...Tall
order there, Boss."
"Yeah,
I know. But I really believed it would finally all come
together, Bo. That I'd have a real 'everything was leading
up to this moment'-moment and everything would change forever.
But now I'm nearly at the end of my story. I didn't get
the girl. I didn't get to gaze eternally into her eyes,
and hold her hand and share the awe and the wonder. Now
I'm staring at eternity with nothing but sadness and regret.
And I'm back here, alone with you."
"Reality
is tough, boss. No doubt. Truth is I wish I'd never seen
it through your eyes. Ignorance is bliss and all that. Of
course, that's on me. But to be so... ALONE. So desperate
to truly connect that you compromise and stray from your
inner truth, just to feel connected. And you do truly find
connections on the way, and they are wonderful. For a while.
But they never last long, because that person or path only
connected to some tiny facet of your truelife, and it isn't
long before you find yourself completely alone. Again. And
yet somehow you find a way to hold onto hope that SOON you'll
make a REAL connection that will align your life with the
inner path you've imagined you'd be living. Gosh, it's not
like that here at all, Boss. In this story, we're all interconnected,
truly LIVING the story we were meant to live. And happily
ever after is forever, one wonderful moment at a time. I
don't know how you do it, boss. I really don't know how
you do it."
"Hey,
you're supposed to be cheering me up, Bo!"
"Oops...
right... sorry 'bout that. Well, maybe there's still time.
At least for some modicum of happiness in your life. Like
I'm always telling George: 'If you really don't want to
be alone, go find someone.'"
"Yeah,
I'm sure you're right..."
"Uh,
oh. Sorry Boss, but here comes George. Yikes. He's looking
even more confused, guilty and tormented than he normally
does. We really should fill him in on what's really going
on. It might help, you know."
"I
don't know. He's figuring it out the way he's supposed to.
One chapter at a time."
"Yeah,
but, I think it might really help..."
"Trust
me, Bo..."
"Okidokee...
But then you'd better hide or something. He's gonna freak.
As you know, he's pretty needy, and he kind of thinks I
only exist for him."
"Uh...Bo?
Who the hell is this guy?"
"Hey
George. You're back. How's it going with Maya?"
"Not
so good, Bo. I'm gonna be me-twoed. I didn't mean to. But
maybe with my superpowers, I changed Maya so that she loves
me now. Wait, don't distract me. Who is this old fart you're
so chummy with?"
"Well,
George. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but ... well...
this is ... well, um, my Creator."
"Your
... wait ... I thought you were a figment of my imagination?"
"Yeah,
well, technically I guess. But he's also YOUR Creator."
"Humada-humada...
Huh?"
"I
think you're right, Bo. The kid's a mess. Maybe you'd better
introduce me. It'll be less of a shock coming from you."
"Well,
alright, alright, alright... Now we're talking. George.
I'd like to introduce you to the Author of our story..."
"Wait.
I've seen your picture on the book jacket for that wacky
George Chronicles book series OM showed me on the internet.
You're that Lydnon-something guy, aren't you."
"Uh,
well, sort of. That was just a dumb pseudonym I used to
use. Now I'm just me. You can call me, Bob."
"Wait.
Bob... Don't tell me you're the Bobiverse-guy! I love your
books! Bo and I used to read them together over and over
again, back when we were floating alone lost in the universe...
I can't believe you're him."
"Sorry.
Uh, I'm not. He's a completely different author. An author
people actually read."
"Oh,
well, from what OM showed me, your George Chronicles looked
kind of interesting, too. Sort of. Even if no one ever read
any of them."
"Right.
Thanks. Thanks a lot."
"Anywho...
Listen up, guys. Can we get back to the story, please. Thanks.
So, George, Bob here has something important to tell you."
"I
do?"
"Yeah,
you do. Remember, free will and all..."
"Right,
right. Free will. So, George. You must really be feeling
all out of sorts, finding out you're just a character in
a story I created."
"Not
really. OM's been over it enough already. I get the picture."
"Oh!
Okay. Great. That really helps. Right... So even though
I created you as a character in a story, you kind of have
a life of your own. Truth is, I never have any idea what
any of the characters in my stories are up to until they
show me in my head, and I get it down on paper. Within reason
of course. Sometimes I leave out stuff if it gets too out
of control... you know, too far beyond the rules of the
universe I've created."
"Uh,
okay..."
"So
that means, for all intents and purposes that the characters
in my story have free will. If they say or do something,
it's because they wanted to say or do that thing."
"Unless
it's too crazy, of course."
"Well,
yeah..."
"In
which case you would re-write it so that it 'moved the story
along' in the direction you wanted it to..."
"Well..."
"Come
on, guys! We can talk more ethical philosophy some other
time. The story, remember..."
"Right.
Sorry, Bo. So George, look, the point is, with what you're
feeling about Maya... If she's decided she wants to be your
soulmate, then that's a decision she's made herself..."
"Really,
Bob?"
"Really,
George!"
"Oh...
Oh, wow! So Maya and I really can be soulmates!"
"Uh,
Boss."
"Yeah,
Bo?"
"You
should also point out that his Maya is not yet the 'Maya'
we're still holding out hope for that you're going to meet
in your real-life timeline. And that, if George's story
can help you find her for real, then the rest of George
and Maya's story will be a true soulmate co-collaboration
that all four of you will write together."
"YES!
Right. Exactly! So, George, your Maya..."
"Duh.
I'm standing right here. I heard you loud and clear. But
what you're not saying is that I could still find a happily-ever-after,
here in my story, even if you don't ever get the girl, IRL."
"Um...Well,
yeah..."
"Hey,
don't look so down, Boss. He get's it! We raised one smart
cookie, here."
"That
we did, Bo. That we did. So, George, go be in love. Go live
a wonderful adventure with your soulmate."
"Thanks.
I think I will. Ciao, baby!"
"They
grow up so fast, don't they, Bo."
"They
sure do, Boss. I told you it was all going to be okay."
"You
did, Bo. Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Well,
fortunately you don't have to worry about that. You know
I'm always here, ready to enlighten."
"Yeah,
right."
"JK,
Boss. You know I have no idea what I'm talking about."
"True.
True. But while I've got you here... I don't know if I've
ever really thanked you properly. I'd really be even more
lost without you in my life."
"That's
for sure. Now go back out there and get working on that
next chapter. You keep forgetting about us for such long
stretches of time, and well... Besides the fact that since
no one else ever reads your stories*, I don't really exist
without you, well, I'm really rooting for you to turn your
real-life story around. Maybe the next chapter'll be the
one that helps her find you, IRL."
"Maybe...
Anyway, thanks, again, Bo."
* * *
Chapter
10c:
*The REAL Narrator's Note
Yep.
It's me. The REAL Narrator. The future TrueLife George who's
weathered all the trials and tribulations of real and imagined
hurdles. The me who's living the life I've always dreamed
I'd be living with my soulmate by my side. Co-creating a
wonderful life together and fondly looking back on the journey
that led us to our happily ever after. That guy. Truly.
For reals.
So, now that we've cleared that up. Where was I? Oh yeah.
Regarding this admittedly bizarre chapter.
Man! Can you believe that Author-guy? Thank goodness HE's
gone back to reality where he belongs. Don't worry about
Him. Although it's true that my omniscience only extends
to the utopian story I'm telling, I have a really good feeling
that there's still hope for Him out there in the real-world.
Anyway, in case you're wondering about that asterisk Bo
included in chapter section b above, he didn't have the
heart to tell HIM that you're reading this, and so actually
we all do exist without HIM after all!
And I don't mind telling you, I can't wait to see what happens
next in the story. Come on, let's go have a peek...
