To Find You

by Robert Alan Silverstein

Hope that I WILL find you brings me strength. Sometimes it's all that I have. Sometimes my life seems like a dream; a memory disconnected and barely remembered. But I remember You, though we have never met awake or in dreams.

I remember Us there InBetween dreams and reality. Always too late, I realize it was you who was there with me in those moments when I was fully alive InBetween the moments of my life. In those flashes when I truly experience a moment, and return an instant later with the fondness of its memory, I recall it was you I was sharing it with. You were the one with whom the inner me confides with laughing whispers in that fleeting instant between the passing moment and the future yet lived.

We have lived lifetimes in those stolen moments. But sometimes I forget you were ever there. And other times I remember you so clearly. Gazing into your eyes. Holding you close. I remember often journeying with you to that dreamplace we have envisioned together. A Peacetopia where all living things are valued and treasured and life has meaning and purpose for all. Where life is for living and sharing and being. I remember laughing and loving forever there with you. And I remember countless times waking up from that wondrous visioned place with you by my side, and we smile silently together as we remember our shared dream, and we rise and we work together to manifest in words and images and song the beauty of that place we have imagined together. And we laugh and love and live.

But then this treasured half-memory fades once again, and the world refocuses around me and I see that I am alone, trying desperately to remember you and the Peacetopian Dream we share. Sometimes I am so lost without you. I know that the beauty of the Dream we imagined together should be strength enough for me to be the person I know I am inside. The person I wish to be. I know it should be enough to nourish me and provide me the strength to keep shining my light on this world so that it can be even a tiny bit more like our shared vision of peace. And for many years it was all that I needed. But now I miss you more and more. I long to find you and share life's journey, not just in that time InBetween, or even in a world of dreams, but in this place of flesh and bone.

Someday I know the Dream will be enough, but for now, hope that I will find you brings me strength.


© 2014 Robert Alan Silverstein


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